Pretty, Witty, and Gay...well Pretty at least

I originally wrote most of this to a friend, with whom I disagree on the subject of homosexuality. This became way too long for a facebook message, so I decided to post it here. It is not important what their position is, but that I can call them a friend because I trust their heart is good and respect that they are trying to do what is best and right. I abhor that society discourages discussing topics of contention by calling it "rude," and think such lack of practice leads to so many people confusing discussion and debate for arguing and yelling matches. So here it is, my point:

Although I was proud when the Catholic Church, along with the Church of Latter Day Saints and half of the Lutheran Church, declared that they do not believe it is a choice- but that people are born gay and lesbian. They and I diverge, of course, beyond that point as I do not believe that love can be a sin and they do not believe that homosexual love is real. But I am excited by the progress.

I have spent my childhood around homosexuality- anyone who grew up in ballet did.

                                                   Five years old as a Mouse in the Nutcracker.
I was exposed to the people, the culture, and the love at such an early age it always seems odd to doubt the beauty in any of it. Those people, and the homosexuals I have met since, knew love-I know because they loved me. They loved me as a friend and I trust their hearts and minds to discern the difference between a positive love and a negative lust.

Having experienced love and lust, which I recognize as something most people could claim but will only assign to myself, and knowing the stark difference between the two helps me trust that gays and lesbians can also recognize the difference. The guilt, heaviness, and doubt of sinful lust can not be confused with the utter happiness, confidence and lightness that true love brings. Love is confusing and difficult, but there is a large chasm between the trials of grounded love and the shiftiness of sin. Sin surrounds sin, Satan doesn't want one relationship he wants it all. So when I see the love and compassion and trust, when I see the positive friendships that surround these couples I can not believe that the relationships were ordained by evil.

                                                 Maybe nine, just before I left the house for a recital.

I am comfortable with trusting that some parts of the bible were the wisest wisdom of its time, but by any modern standard are just wrong. I do not believe in slavery, or that a disobedient child should be stoned, and for the sake of football I don't believe it is a sin to touch pigs' skin- oh and I really like shrimp too. I am comforted by knowing that societal change takes time, and if a book was written saying that women should vote, that no person is the property of someone else, or that all people deserve the same opportunities to better themselves, the bible would not have gotten off the ground--it simply would not have been listened to by anyone. That resolve is based off of my study of history and the constant "wait, be patient, these things things take time" slogan of the civil rights movement, the anti-slavery movement, women's rights movement, and the lets-not-burn-each-other-at-the-stake movement.

I am also comforted by the reality that some parts of the bible require a historical context, and that the contexts were not always considered. Today, Christians tend to pride themselves in considering the bible's contemporary culture, and the ancient Greek, that they forget that Christians, just as strongly, believed they were right when using the bible to silence women and separate races. We were wrong then, we're going to be wrong in the future, we're wrong about some things now- we are men. We sin, because we can not fully accept and give grace and love.

The imperfection of our world is heightened when as a collective we choose groups to blame our troubles on. Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, women, the Japanese, all of these groups have been blamed for America's problems and subsequently rejected and subjected to discrimination. Society seems to learn that they were wrong about that group, because it was this other group that really causes the trouble. Only in modern day would I argue that this is utterly pathetic due to our legally required education that is supposed to familiarize us with history and its patterns.

Please feel free to ask any question; make any comment; or, request clarification about any of my points. If there is anything that I hate it is people assigning me motives; especially without asking for clarification. I have read enough Victorian novels and Shakespearean plays to know that negative assumptions can lead to a life without friends, love, and sometimes to calling your fiance a whore at the alter and leaving her there to sort of die- No Claudio, don't listen to Don John he's a bastard!

                                           I couldn't choose between these three pics, so I'll end 
                                                            with this one of me before a jazz recital. I think I was eight.

Pretty, Witty, and Gay...well Pretty at least

I originally wrote most of this to a friend, with whom I disagree on the subject of homosexuality. This became way too long for a facebook message, so I decided to post it here. It is not important what their position is, but that I can call them a friend because I trust their heart is good and respect that they are trying to do what is best and right. I abhor that society discourages discussing topics of contention by calling it "rude," and think such lack of practice leads to so many people confusing discussion and debate for arguing and yelling matches. So here it is, my point:

Although I was proud when the Catholic Church, along with the Church of Latter Day Saints and half of the Lutheran Church, declared that they do not believe it is a choice- but that people are born gay and lesbian. They and I diverge, of course, beyond that point as I do not believe that love can be a sin and they do not believe that homosexual love is real. But I am excited by the progress.

I have spent my childhood around homosexuality- anyone who grew up in ballet did.

                                                   Five years old as a Mouse in the Nutcracker.
I was exposed to the people, the culture, and the love at such an early age it always seems odd to doubt the beauty in any of it. Those people, and the gays and lesbians I have met since, knew love-I know because many of them showed love to me. They loved me as a friend and I trust their hearts and minds to discern the difference between a positive love and a negative lust.

Having experienced love and lust, which I recognize as something most people could claim but will only assign to myself, and knowing the stark difference between the two helps me trust that gays and lesbians can also recognize the difference. The guilt, heaviness, and doubt of sinful lust can not be confused with the utter happiness, confidence and lightness that true love brings. Love is confusing and difficult, but there is a large chasm between the trials of grounded love and the shiftiness of sin. Sin surrounds sin, Satan doesn't want one relationship he wants it all. So when I see the love and compassion and trust, when I see the positive friendships that surround these couples I can not believe that the relationships were ordained by evil.

                                                 Maybe nine, just before I left the house for a recital.

I am comfortable with trusting that some parts of the bible were the wisest wisdom of its time, but by any modern standard are just wrong. I do not believe in slavery, or that a disobedient child should be stoned, and for the sake of football I don't believe it is a sin to touch pigs' skin- oh and I really like shrimp too. I am comforted by knowing that societal change takes time, and if a book was written saying that women should vote, that no person is the property of someone else, or that all people deserve the same opportunities to better themselves, the bible would not have gotten off the ground--it simply would not have been listened to by anyone. That resolve is based off of my study of history and the constant "wait, be patient, these things things take time" slogan of the civil rights movement, the anti-slavery movement, women's rights movement, and the lets-not-burn-each-other-at-the-stake movement.

I am also comforted by the reality that some parts of the bible require a historical context, and that the contexts were not always considered. Today, Christians tend to pride themselves in considering the bible's contemporary culture, and the ancient Greek, that they forget that Christians, just as strongly, believed they were right when using the bible to silence women and separate races. We were wrong then, we're going to be wrong in the future, we're wrong about some things now- we are men. We sin, because we can not fully accept and give grace and love.

The imperfection of our world is heightened when as a collective we choose groups to blame our troubles on. Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, women, the Japanese, all of these groups have been blamed for America's problems and subsequently rejected and subjected to discrimination. Society seems to learn that they were wrong about that group, because it was this other group that really causes the trouble. Only in modern day would I argue that this is utterly pathetic due to our legally required education that is supposed to familiarize us with history and its patterns.

Please feel free to ask any question; make any comment; or, request clarification about any of my points. If there is anything that I hate it is people assigning me motives; especially without asking for clarification. I have read enough Victorian novels and Shakespearean plays to know that negative assumptions can lead to a life without friends, love, and sometimes to calling your fiance a whore at the alter and leaving her there to sort of die- No Claudio, don't listen to Don John he's a bastard!

                                           I couldn't choose between these three pics, so I'll end 
                                                            with this one of me before a jazz recital. I think I was eight.

I am 16, going on...24?

If when reading the title you hummed along to the Sound of Music soundtrack, stand-up and applaud yourself. Full bow, too.

My woes of being mistaken for a much younger woman have long since been recorded...by me...in my head...and now right here. Instances like:
In a Doctor's office::
    Nurse:"We need your father's insurance forms...your father... ::looks at my paperwork::...Alex"

In Target:
    ::I go to try a cracker/cheese sample::
     Cracker/Cheese Lady: "I'm sorry, but you'll have to get your mom to try a sample."

At the Russell Stover Factory:
    Teller: "Would you like to sign up for the Rewards Club?"
    Me: "Sure."
    Teller: "Wait, are you over 18?"
    Me: "How old do you think I am?"
    Teller: "16, maybe 17."

And my personal favorite...

Meeting Alex's Co-Volunteers at an Animal Shelter:
    Lady: "Are you [Alex's] sister, you're not quite young enough to be his daughter?"
Apparently the lady had not met with the nurse, because she would argue differently.

In my humble, yet always correct, opinion I have looked the same since the 9th grade, so I cannot entirely blame these ridiculous people who do not notice the diamond rings conveniently place on my left hand, symbolizing the current co-habitation co-love-sharing state of matrimony, recognized in most industrial countries. It is also not only my ageless, timeless, classic good looks to blame. No! There is also Hollywood.


Yes, gone are the days when a sex symbol was curvy, womanly, and above all of-age. Marilyn, Audrey, and Ava these women were in there late twenties/early thirties during their prime. Some Like it Hot was made when Marilyn was 33! Have you seen stills from her last, unfinished film?

Flawless!

Above all she looked like a sexy woman, because she was a sexy woman...stress on woman. She was not 16, she was not barely 18. Today young girls, no need to name the "starlets", are dressing to look like a woman who knew how to handle the attention she got, and undersood the consequences of that attention. Monroe knew that she was typecasted, she knew it would be difficult to ever break the "sex kitten" image; she knew the delicacy of a reputation. No, this isn't the 1800s and people should be allowed to express themselves; but the reality is that a reputation is even more likely to be damaged, spread, and irreversible in the limited environment of a high school than the "real world" where there is mobility and a multitude of possible friends.

There is nothing wrong with being a teen, it's great and everyone should be allowed to explore fashion...if they want to...I personally can only shop for 10 minutes before wanting to chuck a mannequin out a window, just to know fresh air once more.  However, when you can no longer tell the difference between a top for a 24 year old or a 14 year old there is a problem. It is no wonder why I, and so many of my friends, are thought to be so young! We're all dressed the same.

I also understand we have limited options, and that stores like Express and J.Crew will also advertise to teens because they have more buying power then the twenty-somethings. Read, they have their parents cards, we have our starting salaries. But there in lies the rub, parents are buying these clothes. I have never been one, and it will be a long time before I am one to a teen; but surely parents can at least check their childrens' purchases. 

Boys find sex sexy, girls want to look like what the boys want, hollywood provides the images for the boys and role models for the girls. That is, if you do not intercede. And even if you can't convince an 18 year old boy that a brain is sexy, or a girl that being a sex kitten has consequences, then bite the bullet, don't be the friend and only buy your child age appropriate clothing. Let only us twenty-somethings look like twenty-somethings.

If for no other reason then so it is obvious that I am 23!